JIVE

Thirsty? Have a drink. Still thirsty? Have another round.

Hungry? Do twenty push-ups. Or something similar, activating your endorphinuous (erogenous?) zone. Still hungry? Have another round. Unbelievable as it may sound, it’s a universal tip, and it works (sooner or later) or.. you die trying. Either way, it keeps the mind off gorging and the owner away from any gorge material. For good.

All those wise guys preaching you must cut down on this and that (read: carbohydrates and fats) and invite some physical activity to your life.. How educated and idealistic of them! But how many succeed? It’s possible to count even if you lack a few fingers.. That’s how many. I'd gladly use one of my middle fingers to show and tell the white coats what I make of all this.

I say: don’t change your eating habits and add exercise. Don’t change and add at all. Replace. Preferably your evening meal with a workout.

And I don't just say it, but mean it. I too ride a bike at dinnertime. With all my heart troubled by breakneck pedaling it needs to pump up to. Benefits are plenty more. All the good (read: fattening) things served for dinner get out of sight. And after an hour or two I eat.. not or I eat.. well. Onwards to the reasons. I sometimes don’t feel hungry (exercise really keeps one’s mind off everything else) and if I do (because sometimes it doesn’t), I choose something macrobiotic to eat. Why? Because otherwise all the effort will go to waste! Psychologically speaking, burning 500 calories (or more) is too rewarding to be ignored and spoilt just like that. So good proteins and vitamins it is. A proper meal!

And at times I come back so exhausted that I can’t even lift a fork.. I say fork, because it’s only wise to stay away from knives under these circumstances. Too easy to mishandle..

And sometimes.. I can’t even open the fridge to make my dinner. So beautifully effective, yet paradoxical. My hands not exactly tied, and yet.. no choice, no choice..