AND IN ICELANDIC..

This little sister of mine is a real sucker for languages. If they’re off-beat enough, they immediately qualify for oral exercise. After Old English, her sharp index finger has pointed at.. Icelandic. She claims there’s resemblance. I saw this one eyebrow of hers raised the other day.. We all know what this means, don't we? The poor Scandinavian bastard, thrown out of the continental nest right into the sea, doesn’t know what’s in store for him. Correction, she says it was him who jumped out and swam away from his boring kinship. This qualifies him, she adds. So he gets dissected soon enough. I’ll be a silent listener to their first flirty chats and whatever comes next. And I’ll soon get back to you on what my absent presence has witnessed.

STRANGE IS YOUR LANGUAGE AND I HAVE NO DECODER

Dear Anonymous Contributors,

If you think I will engage in bashing and scorning your cowardice, you are just as wrong as you'd be thinking I'll be unconditionally grateful for your comments. Funny, the truth's whereabouts on this are just as mysterious as your particulars.. Still, I will certainly not point my finger at the frolicsome contents of your chests and tear the white hoods off your heads. I'm two buttons away from forbidding you from commenting and, for a reason just as obscure as yours, I'm not drawing nearer. I can't draw, you know it perfectly well.

Love,

Jane Doe

WHEN THE HUMOUR TAKES HER

Julia has an exceptional flair for juicy comments while watching movies. Actually, I could trap her in my basement with a TV and a bunch of movies and die happy in there. (Naturally, after publishing the best of her comments and making a killing). Don't worry, Julia; I'd keep you fed and watered. If you wish, I can tie you to a radiator as well. You know why. Here are some of my favourite Julia's comments.. so far:

(9 songs, during the first of numerous sexual intercourses)

God, I can't tell them apart!

(later, about a female character, not richly endowed by Mother Nature)

She's my definition of two nipples sticking out of the chestplate.

(young adam, a guy smears a girl with something sticky, beats her up and takes her from behind)

Hmm, this scene is kinda arousing..

(during a "standing love scene", again from behind)

(ironic, falling-rising tone) She's not enjoying herself..!

(mary full of grace, during a kissing scene)

It's the most disgusting kiss I've ever seen.

**
We'll get back to it. Julia's situational sense of humour is a wellspring of prospect posts.

WHERE[FORE] ART THOU JULIET?

Dear Julia,

I was planning to take a nasty photo of my tongue stuck out at you (for not sparing me a line for so long) and then to send it.. when I found out* you were on a road trip someplace in the Canadian wilderness. As much as I hate being reasonable, the only course of action here was (and still is) to wait patiently with fingers crossed and nails bitten to the bone. If I recall, there were words to be said and actions to be taken between the other two of you. When you’re finally able to use the word through after be in the first person singular, let me know.

Footnotes & Asterisks:

* On the off-chance that you’re dying to know where I got this valuable piece of knowledge from: the key proper noun is Roads Left. Feel obliged to thank your lucky badasstard for making good use of his uncommon sense, thus saving one of your friend-ships from sinking. By the way, it was tickling pleasure to see the word left in bold and in focus.. Being a hapless leftie, I greatly appreciate all signs of social acceptance.